In our last blog we discussed how we can get overwhelmed with expectations. Especially around the festive season and in the run up to Christmas. How can we start to manage the challenges that very often arise at time when we are “expected” to be joyful and happy? And where the whole family “should” enjoy themselves?
See, we already pointed out some of the common expectations.
If you haven’t already then make your own lists of the expectations you have from yourself and from others. We talked about this in our previous blog. With compassion and self-love go ahead and ditch some of those unrealistic expectations. If you sister-in-law never helped with the washing up and you still expect her to, you are likely to be very disappointed. So let it go. Cross it off the list. If you expect everyone getting on well for once but your parents always argue you can hope and encourage a happy Christmas but perhaps don’t expect that they will get on all evening without them having a bit of a disagreement.
At Christmas and the holidays we want everything to be perfect and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves (and others) but we also harbour the more childlike feelings of wanting attention, approval and of comparison with others. Some of these feelings have been with us since childhood and perhaps we never really learned how to deal with them.
The consequences are that our expectations and comparisons tend to disappoint and we feel these raw, almost childlike or immature, emotions. We all react differently but most often there is a sense of self judgement and self criticism. Even criticising ourselves because we had all these expectations. Maybe we start to blame others making the whole situation even worse. Perhaps we crave numbness by reaching for booze, chocolate or emptying the fridge at night.
One way to avoid getting into this vicious circle of blame and disappointment is to catch yourself when it happens. Once you're aware it is easier to see it for what it is: unrealistic expectations. Now practise self-love and compassion. Both to yourself and others. Ditch the expectations and stay present in the moment. Detox from judging yourself and everyone else. And this goes for comparing yourself with others on social media too.
Our ultimate life hack is to practise gratitude. This is the antidote to these potential fraught emotions. Start the practise straight away. What are you grateful for this moment? Get into the habit of gratitude by thinking of a few things you are grateful for every morning and evening. It puts everything into perspective. There is always something to be grateful for.
To really establish and anchor this awareness of detoxing from unrealistic expectations and finding gratitude is to use aroma and ritual. We love Yogandha Detox Body Oil as the essential oils really support this process. Use it in the shower every morning, inhale the scent as you let go and create space for gratitude. Use it at night after a tense day. Remember to practise self-love and compassion to yourself and to others.
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